You are viewing pattytempleton

Previous Entry | Next Entry


Guess who's kicking goddamn hella fat-bottomed book ass?

ME ME ME ME ME

I don't know what that meant.

Or maybe I do.

My book is a big fat-bottomed ass. And I'm kicking it.

And big gorgeous fat-bottomed asses are a good thing. Just ask Freddie Mercury.

I have 20 days. TWENTY DAYS until I am done.

If all stays on schedule. Which it is. Sort of. Somewhat. I'm only a little behind. The smallest crack of panic, but I'm good. I am mostly really damn good. And that panic only comes from losing last week to EPIC ILLNESS. Ok. No. Not epic. Epic would be my eyeballs shot blood and my tongue turned into a unicorn and I woke up with a Quato. None of these things happened. BUT CRAP. Crap. Here's how it went down, Monday I had a headache. Tuesday it went to throat monkeys. Wednesday my skin hurt and fever death kill UGH. Onward, etc. It was a shitty week and I got nothing done. I didn't even watch TV. Well, I watched the new 3 Musketeers movie and - if you happened to wonder what the skeleton of Alexander Dumas was doing last Thursday - he was at my pad slamming his bones against my TV and spitefully whizzing on my DVD player. Long dead and completely dehydrated, it was but a sad powder he pissed onto the DVD, but still, I couldn't have agreed with him more. It sucked. Way to ef in the ear a badass story. Pff. Hollywood. Assholes.

Back to, I lost a week, but it's ok. I'm doing ok.

BUT 20 DAYS?

That's insane. I'm on schedule and I will have a completed novel.

20 DAYS?
oi.

And it's still being fun.

*

A strange thought trend that I have had to deal with lately goes like this:

1.  Oh my god, my novel is almost done.
2.  Oh my god, people are actually going to read it.
3.  Oh my god, WHAT IF I'M NOT AS BRILLIANT AS I THINK I AM?

Inevitably, I say to myself, "PFF, stop thinking about your readers and think about the story." and "PFFF! Not brilliant? NOT BRILLIANT? Of course you are!"

I know this novel isn't perfect. But I do think it is good. Damn good, and Sarah Winchester's backstory is something that hasn't been written about extensively, especially in fiction. Which, wow, yeah, this novel is historical fiction, but damn I am taking a lot of liberties in making up entire worlds of information.

But I came to the point with this novel where I was busted. I didn't believe in it anymore because I didn't believe in myself. I didn't believe I could finish it. I didn't believe anyone would want it if I did. Mainly, somewhere around 25 or 26, I just didn't know if I was a writer anymore. I wrote, but not often enough. I wasn't getting anything published. I was sick of working dead end jobs, joyful as they might be at used bookstores or otherwise, that made me no money. I thought I needed to "grow up." To get a "real" job. I got rid of some band shirts (BAD IDEA). I tried to buy "nice" clothes.

This was ridiculous. It wasn't true to me. I was trying to find a spot for myself in the Great Big World.

I was in a bad mojo cycle. Thinking bad. Writing bad. Doing bad. Or worse than doing bad, doing nothing. Creating nothing.

Here is what happens when I think I need to "grow up" or become a "professional" with "prospects"...I move to fucking Osaka with my boyfriend.

WTF?

I know. Running away to another country totally grown up, right?

Uh. Hmm.

I did find a "real" job. As an English teacher, but didn't end up getting to actually do it. I was in Japan 3 months. Found the job....and then didn't get the certificate of eligibility (first step in visa process) until months after I already had to return to the U.S. because my 3 month tourist visa was up. 

Here is the hilarious thing about this debacle, while in Japan, I job searched and wrote and watched pirated TV on the internet. That's all I did. Yes, yes, I also saw rad shit like this:




























 






















































and I went to bars the size of coffee tables and had a badass, albeit somewhat alienated lonely time in a foreign country....

but I wrote. A lot.

Because that's who I frikkin am. A writer. It's what I do. I finally nailed it into my head. I didn't question it anymore. I told myself, I am a writer. I want to do this. I am already doing this so I want to do it for real. I am going to work at it. Writing is not inspiration and romanticism. It is your ass in the chair and work.

Going to Japan is what got me back on track with writing. And then getting home from Japan and having four months wherein I scrounged everywhere for a job, from publishing houses to bars (see the common theme of books and liqour in my work history?), I got back on track with my novel.

In the three years since Japan, I worked a hella lot at two libraries, picked up a bar job and, very soon, will have finished a novel.

I came up with the mantra "No time for self doubt" and stuck to it. I also came to the conclusion that I would rather be a poor writer than a rich whatever-the-hell-professional.

Know what? Negative thinking gets shit done. Zilch. Nothing. Neither does running away from who you are, even if who you are doesn't immediately lead to money sacks and gold bricks.

Being happy isn't easy.
Being happy with my writing isn't always easy.
Life is work. Being happy is work. Writing is work.

And worrying what others think about you? That...that is some stupid shit. It just takes up brain space that would be better placed elsewhere. Like on the zillion or so short stories I wanna write in 20 DAYS when the novel is done.

*

Did I mention, MY NOVEL IS GOING TO BE  DONE IN 20 DAYS?

OH MY FRIKKIN STARS.

There will be the motherload of dance parties, only ever topped by the glitter bomb tastic dance fest that occurs when I sell the thing.

*

This held a lot more personal history than I usually put on this blog and I'm not sure it was all even coherent, but what the hell, I'm devil may care. I'mna leave it up. I got a novel to write. I can't be dickering around on LJ all day.

Later yo.

Tags:

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
wirewalking
May. 2nd, 2012 11:28 pm (UTC)
I will read it! Send it here when it's done!
pattytempleton
May. 3rd, 2012 02:26 am (UTC)
And I will get my ass in gear to read yourS!
wirewalking
May. 3rd, 2012 03:33 am (UTC)
No rush! I've, um, fixed a bunch of shit since the one you have, and am in the process of fixing more shit as we speak (DON'T HIT ME) so if you're just reading it onscreen I can send newest file whenever you're ready. I am such a pain in the ass but by god I am at least aware of it. :D
pattytempleton
May. 3rd, 2012 12:23 pm (UTC)
HA! You are just like me. I can't leave a damn thing alone.

How about this, if you can wait 20 more days while I knock this thing out, I will read your book on the 23rd and have it done no later than the 24th. : )

I'm psyched to have reading time again.
wirewalking
May. 3rd, 2012 02:11 pm (UTC)
I really want to get it sent out to prospective!agent by the end of next week or so, before I go out of my mind, but opinions will be welcome & more than welcome at any point!
gwynnega
May. 3rd, 2012 12:13 am (UTC)
20 days!!! Yaaaaay.
pattytempleton
May. 3rd, 2012 02:26 am (UTC)
:: high fives ::
skogkatt
May. 3rd, 2012 01:46 am (UTC)
Go Go Go! By Nellie Bly, you are AWESOME!

I will see you at WisCon WHEN YOUR NOVEL WILL BE DONE!!!
pattytempleton
May. 3rd, 2012 02:27 am (UTC)
WE WILL PARTY SO HARD!
shveta_thakrar
May. 3rd, 2012 02:37 am (UTC)
yah
Yeahhhh!

Go, go, gooooo, you writer, you!

*cheers wildly*

*falls over*

GOOOOOOO!
pattytempleton
May. 3rd, 2012 12:20 pm (UTC)
Re: yah
: )
brendandetzner
May. 3rd, 2012 02:42 am (UTC)
Awesomely cool. Can't wait. Kudos kudos clap clap clap.
pattytempleton
May. 3rd, 2012 12:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
seabird78
May. 3rd, 2012 02:54 am (UTC)
Yay!!!! And then I will watch you schmooze at WisCon and I will help talk you up and maybe we can have a dance party before we leave Madison! :)
pattytempleton
May. 3rd, 2012 12:21 pm (UTC)
I can't wait for Wiscon! It'll be great! We'll have to iron out details about leaving soon.
seabird78
May. 3rd, 2012 03:19 pm (UTC)
Yes, definitely. I'll be in touch after this weekend. Also, the next Tamale Hut is May 19th, in case you're able to come. Chris Lison (the dude who always tells UFO stories) is our featured guest because he has a self-published story collection to show off.
sevenravens
May. 3rd, 2012 03:28 am (UTC)
Have I mentioned how freaking excited I am to read your novel? I've been eagerly waiting since that reading at Wiscon where we first met and you read the jail fight scene and I was hooked.
pattytempleton
May. 3rd, 2012 12:22 pm (UTC)
That's awesome! That means a lot, coming from you. Be prepared for a lot more fight scenes and some very angry ghosts.
csecooney
May. 3rd, 2012 12:40 pm (UTC)
I have nothing to add except... Why is this year's WisCon going to be the COOLEST WISCON EVER (because you'll have circumnavigated Sarah's ghost worl in total) and I won't be there???

Come to me in Westerly, come in July, come and I will throw you a party. We'll invite Julia too, and whatever locals we can scrounge from the coast. I will make lots of guacamole. We'll play "Bloody Mary in the Mirror" and other ghost-related games.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

pattytempleton
Patty Templeton

Latest Month

September 2014
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930    

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow